Sunday, May 4, 2008

Will this ever end?

I've felt like shit since yesterday evening. Sorry for the harsh language but I'm sick of this. I don't know what's happening with my body.

I feel achy in my arms, shoulders, neck, my glands hurt, my head hurts, the fatigue and weakness are kind of bad and I'm irritable. Last night I felt sick to my stomach at times, dizzy, lightheaded. I also get this weird chest-like pressure sensation. It's not exactly pressure in my chest which would be alarming but again, difficult to describe.

It feels like some sort of herx reaction. I don't think it's from the herbs because I finished those on Thursday. I am wondering if it's a reaction to the Resveratol. Either it's a herx or this is how the illness is presenting itself now. I'll be glad when I can talk to the doctor on the 16th. I have acupuncture on Weds thank goodness.

My mind just doesn't work like it used to. I can't write like I used to and I find that frustrating. I'm unable to really express myself. It's unbelievable to me that my committee wanted me to publish my dissertation and begin to write for journals. It's aggravating. At least if I had my mind and could feel a sense of being able to communicate what I need/want to.

I'm getting better at giving myself shots. The past 2 days there's been a leftover big red spot where the shot was. I think it's from the b12 dye or something. Today there was no red mark.

I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day.


Daphne said...

Even though you feel like crap, you are still working so hard to get well, run your bookselling, do the dishes, keep me happy... I'm so proud of you (and I think you should take a vacation!). We'll see how it goes over the next couple of weeks. I know you will be feeling better (or starting on that path) very soon! I love you!

babybuddhalover said...

T- We never did meet, but I wanted to tell you that I have been thinking a lot about you and your situation. My Mother has been experiencing similar symptoms for the past 6 years and only recently felt her symptoms were even acknowledged by her newest physician. It has been a long battle, but she has only become a stronger person for it. She is also finally getting some answers after much advocating. From all that D has said about you, you are a strong, wise and resilient woman who is probably better equipped to deal with this path than most people. I will continue to send you positive thoughts and provide support however I can(this includes sending you some of my books as soon as my defense is over)!

D'Arcy said...

I've never met you either, but I feel like I know you, at least a little bit, thanks to your sweetie! I just wanted to let you know that I stopped by, and to tell you that you're in my thoughts and prayers.