Monday, June 23, 2008

I don't get it.

I got discharged from physical therapy. After 3 visits (including the evaluation). I understand but the system is so different than what I've been used to at Kaiser. Kaiser Oakland is really wonderful. I was really lucky.

I had one physical therapy evaluation. Today was my second physical therapy session. I'm not making any improvements, according to the physical therapist. I guess it doesn't matter what my opinion is because I'm experiencing less pain than before. Or maybe it's not that it's less pain it's just less constant pain. My range of motion has improved in some areas and remained the same in others.

The physical therapist thinks something is "really wrong" and believes I need surgery. He said he hopes he is wrong. I kept pressing him with questions but either he doesn't quite know what he's talking about or he doesn't want to say what he knows, but I couldn't get a clear reason why he thinks I need surgery, what muscles/tendons are involved, and what sort of surgery he thinks I need. I got a little confrontive with him and said he must have some idea and that I would rather hear his truthful opinion rather than have to guess at what might be wrong so he said he thinks I might have a complete tear of the rotator cuff but then backtracked. I also couldn't get him to clearly explain his reasoning for discharging me after this short amount of time. At the same time I don't want to continue with physical therapy if it's going to make whatever is wrong worse. It's just that my doctor thinks I need to stay in physical therapy.

When I was at Kaiser I continued with physical therapy even though it was clear I was going to need surgery so I don't get it.

At the same time I'm a bit relieved because I haven't been very impressed with this physical therapist or the physical therapy center itself. This way I can ask around to find out where to locate a good physical therapist. It has helped though, especially the ultrasound and then icing afterwards.

We'll see what the MRI shows.

Needless to say I'm more than discouraged. I'm also not feeling well at all. I can't imagine going through surgery right now.

I don't know why I even bother praying anymore.

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