Monday, August 25, 2008

Angry

I went out for a walk today. I'm trying to walk a little bit each day even if it's just going to the post office so I can get my blood moving.

As I was walking I realized that most of the grief I felt last year has lessened considerably. I also don't have the poor me feeling.

But I was feeling some anger. I'm angry that this just seemingly goes on and on. I'm angry at people who have dropped out of my life and angry that my attempts to reach some people have failed. I just need to let it go.

I'm trying to will my body to get better. I want to start swimming, bike riding, hike again. It's okay if I can no longer go running although I used to love running. I'd like to work at a job that is meaningful to me.

These past two weeks have been consumed with the Olympics. Today I watched some of the previews of the Democratic National Convention. Gag. I'm disgusted with both parties. They each blame each other for the mess we're in. The reality is both parties had a hand. I don't like either candidate. Barrack Obama is a master of words and great at inspiring people but his actions communicate another story. He's just another weak, lying, flip flopping politician. I'm still shocked he voted for that privacy invasion bill (I can't remember the name). He said a lot of great things to get the nomination but has anyone noticed his record since getting the nomination? Has anyone noticed his prior voting record at all? No. Because the media is falling all over themselves in love with him. It's too bad because the republicans will swift boat him and uncover issues and present a great case against him and we will lose another election.

I used to vote just because someone was a democrat. This year will be different. I have to say that after having to pay over $1000 this year in taxes when I made hardly any money was not good, especially when I needed the money for health issues. Obama promises tax cuts but I saw a list that showed what will actually happen with a democrat in office. I don't believe that Obama is strong enough to stand up for anything. His message should read Obama-change we can't believe in. The only change we can believe in is that he will change his mind. No different then any other politician. I hope that in 2012 there will be a candidate I do believe in.

When I think about what it's been like to deal with the current healthcare system with a chronic illness and who I want to be President I come up with someone who can't be bought (not Obama), who is a fighter, who has values and will stick by them, and who will actually do what's best for the people rather do what the highest bidder. Neither of the candidates fit that profile. At least McCain was known as a maverick.

1 comment:

Sue Jackson said...

I know just what you mean about the anger and about the fervent desire to be able to be active again. I think that is the most bizarre and torturous part of this crazy illness - how on earth can exercise be bad for you?? I find on my worst days that some very gentle yoga (sitting or lying down only) helps to get my blood flowing without causing a post-exertional crash. But I'd much rather be outside hiking!

Sue