I went to the podiatrist today after having some redness along the toenail of my big toe. It didn't hurt very much at all. I toyed with the idea of calling a doctor yesterday but decided to wait and see. Last night my toe hurt a little more but nothing remarkable. I kept having dreams about needing to see a podiatrist. One dream I reached the office too late. It had already closed.
I decided to trust my dreams along with the redness. When the podiatrist cut away part of the nail, he told me I had a staph infection andn small abcess. Great. He tried to cut away more of the nail.He said he needed to get more of it but by that time I was in a lot of pain. Plus I'm a wimp when it comes to my toes. I don't know why. It doesn't matter. I kept squirming like a 5 year old. At one point he said it's important that you stop squirming. I couldn't do it.
As he was looking at it he kept saying hmmm, hmmm. Each time he said it my anxiety went up. I wanted to ask him what he meant. He was a little concerned because the infection started while I was on antibiotics-clarithromycin. I had just started it at half the dose on Monday.
He thinks the infection will be 95% clear by the time he sees me next week for a recheck and for him to do more cutting. Yikes. How am I going to get through that one.
I've been obsessing that it's MRSA and that I'll lose my toe. I hate when this happens. Part of this is a response to my new treatments. I have noticed that my anxiety has increased again in a strange way.
Of course it didn't help when I got on the internet to find out what I could do at home to speed healing along and I kept running across people's stories where the part would jump out at me-something like I had a staph infection in my toe and then it got amputated.
I'm not feeling well but I'm also not feeling horrible and I was able to make it through the 1 hour podiatrist appt without fainting.
My toe hurts though and with it comes the reminder that it might not heal says my fear.
I think the other reason why my anxiety and weird feelings are increased is that tomorrow is the anniversary of my mom's death. I used to love this time of year but ever since she died it has been rather mixed. After she died the light of summer went with her.