Monday, November 17, 2008


So we put in our application for this apartment, along with a check for first, last, and deposit. The woman said she would check references ect. We've gotten word from all but one of the references that she has contacted them. We still hadn't heard anything by last night so we called to say we're wondering if she'd made a decision because we'd really like to give 30 days notice. The woman says "go ahead and give notice" but I still need to check the rest of the references Huh? That makes no sense. Now, here it is late Monday afternoon and STILL no word from her.

I'm becoming quite frustrated. Does she understand that we don't want to pay double rent. She hasn't offically offerred us the apartment-the closest was saying go ahead and give your notice. I'm left scratching my head. So, we've decided to go look at another apartment tonight.

Really, I shouldn't go out to look at another apartment. I'm crashing badly from all the stress and activity. I spent the morning talking to my attorney and filing for the appeal. Then I had to fax recent lab reports along with the mold report. So I haven't had a chance to rest and my body needs it.

The update on the SSDI is that most CFIDs cases end up having to go before a judge. That will take 12 months. It's crazy. So we'll have to figure out a way to make ends meet. We have to move, we have to get rid of a lot of possessions because of the mold.

As bleak as this all sounds I still believe things will work out. Daphne's friends and family have been supportive beyond belief. It's been moving to have people come up with suggestions. Not only that but they have been in constant contact, checking in. They get it how difficult this is and what a nightmare this is.

The thing that is most important right now is for me to watch my stress level and my activity level. I can't afford to go into an extended crash and I can't afford to become bedbound.

I've always been of the belief that I can use my own suffering to benefit others even if it's something as simple as sitting with someone who is undergoing a dark night of the soul providing a silent deep understanding that "yeah, I get it. I've been there too and I've survived." I hope to return to some level of functioning so I can provide a fight for the CFIDS cause. It's a vastly underfunded, ignored illness. I think that CFID's organizations should be on the list of charitable organizations that businesses donate to. There also needs to be funds set up for emergency situations to prevent people from becoming homeless or provide emergency medical care or emotional support. There is a lot of work to be done. I'd love to start a residential program. I just need to get well or better.


Renee said...

Sorry to hear you are going through such an ordeal with more than one major event at one time! Not easy to move when we are well, let alone sick and then to deal with this whole disability issue. It is very sad how our country deals with chronic illnesss. ~ From our own family, neighbors, employers, up through the government. We could learn alot from other countries.
You are in my thoughts today and I hope you do get well so you can be an advocate for those in need.

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Anonymous said...

My best wishes go with you.
I have been fighting this ME/CFS battle for 22 years now.
May I suggest that you join
and check out
also do you know about the IACFS Conference in March up in Reno?
Hang in there.. and BE gentle with your self.