Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Setting Boundaries

One of the challenging things about having a chronic illness is that of recognizing one's limits and setting boundaries. It's so easy during special occasions like Holiday's to push oneself just one more day. At least it's easy for me to do.

I learned this lesson over and over last year. It's only now that I'm putting it into action. I realize that first I need to be aware of what my red flags are for crashing. Once I've identified what they are and recognize that yes this is happening, I need to take it seriously. Taking it seriously means putting it into action and saying "no, I can't do that" or "I need to go lay down now." No one else will do this for me. No one else is inside my body.

Last Holiday season I was closing my practice. I didn't yet realize what having CFIDS meant so I pushed myself. I thought once I get to January I can rest. Except that my January I had become so ill I was housebound.

With the upcoming move my body is already in a highly stressed state. Part of having CFIDS means that my body doesn't handle stress well anymore. It's humbling to admit having worked in high stress environments but it's the truth. My nervous system does not function well.

I'll be glad when this move is over. In a little over 2 weeks we'll be in our new place that hopefully will be mold free. I'm anxious to get in and settled and working on the next phase of my healing. I'm tired of focusing on mold.

The cholestyramine is helping though. Today I drove myself to the doctor to get a spot on my skin looked at. I had googled driving directions (yahoo actually) but they were wrong. Way wrong. I got flustered but kept reasonably calm. I only got a tiny bit lost and easily found my way again. It's good to know I'm having slight cognitive improvement. I had to wait for almost 90 minutes for the doctor. I was feeling a bit shaky by the time he came in but luckily he was quick. I had originally hoped he would do a very thorough skin examination but was actually fine that he didn't given I had waited so long. Anyway the spot was precancerous so he froze it. As he pointed what looked like a huge spray can at my arm he says "this is going to hurt and started spraying." It hurt but not that much. Then he did it a second time for what seemed like much longer. It didn't start hurting until the drive home.

It's so funny how different doctor's introduce when something is going to hurt. My CFIDS doctor prior to inserting a HUGE long, thick needle into the scar where I had the bone tumor removed said calmly "this might feel a little annoying." What an understatement that was. Then there was my podiatrist who had to cut away more of the toenail when I had the staph infection "this might pinch a little." Whew! Again an understatement.

Lab techs generally introduce pain with counting: "ready, one, two, three and stick."

But the spray can didn't hurt much at all.

I was invited to join Wellsphere which is an online community. I've started checking things out over there and I really like the website. I'll post more about as time goes on.

It's time to go rest now.

1 comment:

Maya said...

The body can't handle stress thing is the hardest thing for me to explain. Even while opening my mouth to speak the words it feels like a cop-out.

I have to move, I know not where, in the next month or so. The stress of it is sending my body into overdrive. It feels as though a static electric charge is sizzling along my nerve endings.

A great post!