Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Crashing Badly

Ugh. If I had more energy I'd be feeling really frustrated. I am in a bad crash. The past week has had its share of stressors both good and worrisome. It's a drag having an illness or disease (I don't know what to call it anymore) where good stress can cause a crash but there you have it.

I saw my dad and LuAnn on Tuesday for a couple hours. It was a short visit that tired me out but I was so glad to see them. It has been a year since I last saw them. They went through the healthcare hell ringer last summer which prompted them to move out of state and leading to the diagnosis that my dad's prostate cancer had returned (he also has chronic lymphatic leukemia). LuAnn has rheumatoid arthritis which is managed with medications but it still gets to her.

Thursday there was a home visit from the vet for Katie which always stresses me out because she has chronic renal failure but is doing well considering. The vet had to sedate her because she is so feisty with strangers. Friday she was barely moving, not eating or drinking which was very worrisome. She pulled out of it and is back to her cute self.

Matt was here from Thursday to today. He is really a great guy and it was great to see him as well.

So it's been a week of stressors. Two of them (the visits) were expected and I kept my plan of pacing. The only thing is it didn't work. I can't figure out what went wrong unless because of the Valcyte stress any little stress right now just puts my body into crash mode. I think too that my adrenal glands might need some extra helps so I boosted my cortef dose from 5mg to 7.5 mg.

Most times I feel like I'm shooting in the dark with this illness. I really want to avoid crashes because for me it means becoming bedbound until I come out of them. Even when I come out of the crash I can't do much. When I'm in one it reminds me of how grateful I feel for what little bit of functioning I do have.

This swine flu thing is a bit disconcerting. Normally I'd let this sort of story pass me by but with my immune system dysregulated and Valcyte lowering my immune system I'm a little worried. All it takes is to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I really hope people take heed to the warnings and stay home if they feel at all ill.

I'm over this whole Valcyte thing. I've come to the conclusion that it probably isn't going to help very much. I'm glad I did it just because it had been recommended to me by various doctors. I'll stick it out for a total of five months unless I start having consistent improvement after four months.

I'm ready to get on with my life and repairing the damage that Valcyte has caused.


Treya said...

I think it's probably stress that has caused your crash this time. The situation with your dad sounds quiet worrying, maybe there is unconscious stress there??

I hope things start picking up for you!!

Renee said...

Hi Terri
I am also in a crash/relapse that has me on the sofa or in bed all the time with a big increase of symptoms. So far it is 12 days in... Standing is difficult..and I think it was an accumulation of stressors...physical, mental, and emotional. With you and I having a similar level of health I would say that too many out of envelope events were planned for one week. Probably just one would have been okay? Just my thinking.....as a fellow CFS'er...BUT sometimes we just have no clue as to why it works for one time and then the next it does not. stinks!
Hope it is short lived for you! I am following Bruce's idea of stopping and dropping until it is gone. I even had to cancel a one hour visit with High School friends I see only once a year....just can't risk it when I can hardly sit up.
I guess I am trying to say, I do understand and I am sending thoughts and prayers your way as you recover. You WILL improve once again.
Gentle hugs

Sue Jackson said...

I am also in terrible shape today - shouldn't have even checked the blogs but couldn't help myself after 10 hours on the couch! - and my husband was just laughing at me trying to figure out what caused me to crash. We all play this silly game - trying to figure it out every time. Probably you're right and it was the stress. We also had lots of stress Monday, then too much physical exertion for me on Tuesday (doctors visit 90 minutes away, plus a quick trip into target).

Rest up - I hope you're feeling better soon! Now I'm going to take my own advice and go rest, too!


PJ said...

I think we can all relate to "shooting in the dark." One thing I've noticed is that past doesn't necessarily help me predict the future ... I try and sometimes hit the mark and other times I'm shooting at a completely different target I think! Good luck recovering and figuring it out ... I have to believe that eventually we'll learn our bodies at least a little bit better!

Pris said...

'Good' stress affects me, too, ie even if I want to see someone badly, if the talking goes on too long or if the visit is extended it wears me out. Over the years I can tolerate more than I could, but even that is like a drop of water compared to my former life.