It is quite cold outside which means it's also cold inside. The insulation in this place is quite poor so in the Winter I'm holed up in the bedroom with a heater. It's too expensive to heat the rest of the place so when I leave the bedroom its as if I'm leaving to go outside. I have to bundle up. I'm grateful for a warm bedroom though.
Last Monday I had the procedure done on my toenails where the podiatrist removed part of the nail down to the quick and then put a solution on them that would prevent the nail from growing back. It's strange that is was almost a year to the day that I had the same procedure done. At one point the doctor was giving me a shot between my toes. It hurt. I found myself thinking "he is not giving me a shot between my toes" and "isn't that what they do to torture people?" I didn't remember it being as painful last year. The rest of the procedure was a breeze. So far they are healing nicely and I find myself feeling proud of them. At least something in my body is going right (knocking on wood).
I did crash from it and spent the rest of the week in bed. It's been only today that I've been up and about a little more.
But it seems that my gallbladder problems have worsened. I don't know for sure that it is my gallbladder. I've stopped eating anything with any fat in it for the past week and today it seems a little spasm was triggered just by drinking water so I've basically stopped eating. Thankfully I'll see a doctor tomorrow. Hopefully she'll order tests right away so I can find out for certain what is going on. I've been stressed at the prospect of possibly having to have another surgery. I keep trying to find that inner place of knowing everything will be okay but find I have all these thought of what could go wrong. I worry about the POTS, my adrenal functioning, etc....It seems that the secondary complications of having this disease never end.
I've been feeling a lot of anxiety in the early morning hours. That's when I have all the worst case scenarios play out. I'm utilizing the amygdala retraining techniques to combat them. I need to watch the video again to remind me. It does help though not a cure.
I'm grateful that some neurological symptoms I was struggling with a few weeks ago have eased up. I'm not having the vertigo feeling or the sensation that I'm on the verge of a seizure. Nor am I having the nausea thank goodness.
Now its just the gallbladder, liver, pancrea section that is really troubling me (along with my regular disease). I'm a little nervous about getting weighed tomorrow. I think I've lost maybe 25 pounds now? I know that weight gain and loss are part of this disease but I can't get my mom's words out of my head. A couple weeks before her diagnosis of stage IV cancer she remarked at having lost 26 pounds. I remember her saying "I've lost 26 pounds now! Whatever I have I'm glad I'm losing weight!" She said it with pride but I could also hear the concern in her voice. She'd been on weight watchers but the 26 pounds was lost in a very short period of time.
Has anyone had their gallbladder out or had chronic pancreatitis? Any tips or suggestions?