I should not be blogging but aggressively resting. I'm quite sick. Today is the first day I've been able to email people. It might be pushing it to do a blog post. Unfortunately I'm all too familiar with what can be in store for me if I don't turn this around.
Throughout the course of this illness I start getting sick in the Fall and then am down the entire Winter. It occurred throughout worst years of my illness so I know this pattern.
The only time it didn't happen was when living in Livermore and then Pleasanton where I did my best.
I'm trying to figure out what caused this so I can try to avoid feeling this way in the future. I'm too sick to juice. Eating has gone out the window for now. In the future I need to have on hand some instant soup or top ramen or something.
There are several contributing factors:
1) I had a medical procedure on Monday. It was painful. Extremely painful actually. There was one point where I couldn't stop myself from suddenly yelling "SHIT" because of the pain. I quickly apologized as did the colon surgeon but I sort of chuckled inside because of the pun (shouting shit in a colon surgeon's office). He also apologized and said it was his error. By the time I got home (had to drive myself) I was in so much pain that I had to take a Vicoden. For the next 6 hours I laid in bed unable to even watch tv. The best I could do was listen to a recording of Jon Kabat-Zinn doing a meditation on how to deal with pain.
However, when I had the procedure before I did not feel this way after. So this couldn't be the sole reason.
2) Toxins-there are 3 closets in this bedroom. One is big. I stored stuff from the old toxic apartment there. Tuesday I was trying to make room for more stuff so I threw more stuff out and organized the rest. I've decided to put the rest of my stuff in the closet in the hopes of making Winter less Doom-like. I was already not feeling well but want to get the stuff in there asap. That project is currently not finished due to feeling pretty horrid the next day.
3) Resetting the nervous system might be stirring up toxins (whether bacterial/viral/mold related). The last time I tried Prazosin I felt really sick for a couple days which is odd for an alpha blocker to cause an increase in symptoms. I think resetting the nervous system is causing an increase in symptoms because its also affecting the immune system.
Prazosin, although an anti-hypertensive drug, works on the sympathetic nervous system. It's particularly effective for reducing the diastolic pressure. Mine is usually high sometimes creating narrow arterial pressure.
What does this have to do with the immune system?
Chronic illness often results in a body dominated by the sympathetic nervous system. This results in all sorts of secondary problems.
An additional feature of the fight/flight response (sympathetic nervous system) is an increase in immune system activity (Sapolsky, 1998; Scaer, 2001). Rises in norepinephrine and epinephrine in this acute phase are associated with increases in the organism's front line of defense, expressed through augmentation of natural killer cell activity (Scaer, 2001). As acute stress becomes chronic, however, elevations in cortisol levels impair the immune response and inhibit natural killer cell activity, rendering the organism more susceptible to infection (Scaer, 2001).
4) Stress-lots of stress. Big-time stress.
5) I'm just plain sick. I don't think this is the reason because the way I feel right now is how I've felt at the worst of my crashes. I feel like I did when I was a kid who had c. pneumonia. It feels as bad now as it did then.
Considering the severity of this crash or sickness or whatever the hell it is I think its all the above.
I have to figure out how to get myself out of it. I can't remain this sick here. I have to negotiate stairs which are currently difficult due to feeling so bad.
A friend sent me her remaining Immunovir so I took 1/2 of the 500mg tablet. It has helped a little. I don't feel as bad as I did when I first woke up.
I know that when I have any improvement quickly after starting a medication, especially in the Fall when I start going downhill, means it's a keeper.
The only problem is that it costs over $100 a month. If I can get well enough to work part time I can afford it. Otherwise I can't afford it.