A couple weeks ago I dreamt I was in danger and had to leave an apartment I was living in. I was terrified (which has been an undercurrent for me since getting sick and especially since the ending of my relationship).
Once I left I realized my mom was walking beside me as I was carrying the baby. I take a lot of comfort in that image.
Although things are scary on just about every level I'm also being taken care of somehow. Last night I woke up at 3:00 a.m with severe stomach pain. I was so tired. I didn't know what to do as it was a different sort of pain than I'd had before so I laid there and prayed. I drifted off to sleep and dreamt I was at the hospital about to have a CT scan. I was relieved that finally they would figure out what was going on but woke up again in pain. This morning as I bent down to feed my cat I vomited. It was clear liquid. I'm not that worried about it. Nor am I going to try to figure it out (at least today)-life is too short.
Instead I'll focus on what a gorgeous day it was and for the people I connected to.
I had a good day in spite of little sleep. I'm making friends very, very slowly. I'm grateful for that.
I'm grateful for:
|This truck in the yard for some reason|
|The fountain that I hear outside my window-its sound is soothing|
|The hummingbird feeder hanging outside my bedroom allowing me to hear the constant whirr of hummingbirds as they arrive to feed.|
|My holy (wholly?) Kale that the chickens also enjoy|
|Colors of Autumn|
|My little buddy who feeds at the feeder|
|The opportunity for rebirth|