I don't like admitting I'm not doing very well. Somehow I like to maintain the illusion that I've escaped the clutches of this disease-that I've escaped how severely ill I can become.
I first noticed some trouble when speaking at a meeting over a week ago. I realized I wasn't making a ton of sense. You know-when you leave out crucial parts of sentences?
I've been shaky ever since a week ago Thursday so I spent Friday, Saturday, and Sunday mostly in bed but able to get up and make meals, hang out with the chickens and all.
I went out Monday for awhile. Tuesday spent in bed. Went to people's houses for Christmas against my better judgment. I was hungry for social contact though.
The only time I've been able to leave the house since Christmas was to go pick up my prescriptions and do some minor grocery shopping. I was so worn out from it though. Quite a contrast as to how things have been for me for the past 2 years.
Yesterday I took a supplement called "Total Cleanse-Lymph" by Solaray. I thought maybe it would help the muscle/joint pain I'd been experiencing. I only took 3/4 of one pill even though the recommended dose was 2.
Two hours later I had severe OI. I was on an important phone call when 50 minutes into it I was hit with feeling faint (even while lying down). I spent the next few hours feeling faint off and on. The kind of severe OI where even going to the bathroom is scary because I wasn't sure if I was going to pass out on my way there.
Nausea, light sensitivity, really bad MCS followed. While drinking water I could smell the dish soap I used and would feel immediately nauseous. Or filling up my cat's bowl with water I could smell the chlorine in it and feel nauseated by it.
Today I have noise sensitivity and a lot of muscle pain as well as connective tissue pain and that pure exhaustion. The world feels like its going to tilt a bit at times.
It feels scary because I don't have anyone to help. Interestingly none of my new found "friends" (yeah right) have bothered to call or anything even though I've put out the word I'm not in good shape. Many of my M.E. friends have given up on trying to be friends with healthy people. I can see why.
It's a bitter pill to swallow to be in this kind of shape again.
I'm drinking lots of water and will take charcoal to try to clean up my system.
I guess 2013 will be going out with a bang. I hope this will ease up. I'd rather not spend New Year's Eve alone again. But if I have to at least I have my old, used Roku so I can watch Netflix. I'm currently addicted to "House of Cards". It's excellent. I'm really grateful I spent the $20 to buy it. I also decided to pay $7.99 per month for Netflix-something else I'm grateful for.